This is why I have a dog 
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the darn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little bastard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to Give a Dog a Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
I detest cats. You have to wrap your dog’s pills in bacon? My dog attacks me for pills. She really loves them.
Cats are the cutest, most loveable things in the world. Dogs are crap and drool and sit on you as well as ruining furniture and other really important things like your girlfriend’s birthday present T_T
It’s easy to feed a cat a pill, just put it in with their biscuits. Works every time for our cat…
Cats are little furry balls of hatred and contempt who would just as soon sell you and everything they love for a piece of fish. Dogs are loyal, kindhearted creatures who, when treated well, will always stand by your side. The stereotype of the “drooling dog” is far overplayed in our society, and I think that it’s time that it stopped.
Well whenever I see my grandma’s dogs, I get a nice helping of drool as well as them contantly jumping on me and getting in the way, generally pissing me off…
Yes, some dogs are a bit … overenthusiastic and a few salivate a bit much. Just remember, it’s love-drool! Yaaaaaaaaay!
Hahahaha… dogs are bastards. Although to be fair, one of my deceased cats did drool quite a bit… but she was deaf, and old…
Dogs are wonderful creatures.
Lol, I agree with Fyorl… Cats are teh shit. Dogs are ok… If they like you… But I mean comon, with a dog you have to spend all your time taking care of it, with a cat… Just keep food and water ready and give it a check up now and then. Soooo much easier.
Cats need love too, IBloon!!
My dog doesn’t drool! Ruffy doesn’t drool!
Dogs rule, cat’s drool
Lol… I love cats… Thats what I said.
Dogs definatly drool… Or are just complete idiots.
My dog doesn’t drool. Cats just don’t care.
My dog doesnt drool. Only hyper yucky drooly dogs drool. And you never said you loved them. You said you can put out water and food and leave them for a while. That’s not love.
Exactly. With cats, it’s a strictly business transaction.
Cats are teh shit. <-That means I love them…
~_~
I can’t stand felines.
You should be burned alive.
I hate cats.
As you said.
Yes.
All animals suck! They all defecate, rather it be in itty-bitty pellets or huge steaming piles (it’s love-shit, yaaay.). They don’t wash themselves, they don’t pay bills, and in about 10 years, they die. Happy birthday.
Hello Z, thanks for commenting.
I’m gonna have to agree with you… But your comment seems to be like statistics… You can either present the bad side, or the good side, with the same information. Anyways, hope to see you around here more often.
I do not like this person.
i would prefer a dog
a cat just….sits there, doing absolutly nothing all day, and generally get annoying after about 30 seconds
at least dogs occationally have energy to move their heads and play with you
however, if it would between a cat and a small, ugly, rat-like dog that never shuts up called “ruffles”, i think i would have to take the cat
Like I said, with cats, it’s always a business transaction.
and correct you are, oh all seeing avatar known as Aneesh
Stop it.
why, all seeing avatar known as Aneesh?
i want to pledge loyalty to you, in the hopes that you can share just a fraction of the great stores of wisdom you posess
Stop.
i’m amusing myself, let me be
No.
pweaaaase
Cease.
okie dokie
Good.
Lol… Jeez you two. Lol, nice hit against ruffles random… Unfortunatly, I agree.
Cat > Ruffles
My canine companion reigns supreme over the felynes.
Ruffles > cats.
Have you no heart?? Ruffles is ADORABLE!
If “Ruffles” is a good dog, I’m sure he is better than most cats.
haha
Lol… He attacks me. I call that a bad dog.
He does not always attack you
Now, let’s be fair.
Cats are very low-maintenance, it’s true, but won’t give you the slightest inclination of affection unless they’re going to get something out of it. Easier to take care of, yes, but not as rewarding.
Dogs are pretty much a handful, seeing as you have to walk them and lvoe them and play with them. However, they will stand by your side and love you unconditionally and act as if the world was ending if you leave for only 5 minutes. As soon as you return, the dog becomes the happiest creature on earth. It’s a wonderful feeling to be loved. Plus, I do enjoy playing with my dog, so that’s notmuch of a problem for me.
Now bringing Ruffles into the situation is like using Hannibal Lecter as an example of a typical human being.
Ruffles is a psychotic demon-dog, prone to mood swings more severe than Kurt Cobain’s. I am thoroughly convinced that Ruffles is, indeed, the spawn of hell, or possibly Satan in the form of a dog. I have the feeling that Ruffles would roll over on his back for tummy-rubbings just as quickly as he would slaughter every human being he knows with a spoon.
And trust me, that would be entirely within his power. That dog is EVIL.
hahahahaah. But despite being a pretty bipolar dog, Ruffles can be nice too. Give em some love
No
Ruffles cannot be nice
I believe he lacks that ability
I have known the damn monster for years, and he still growls at me like i’m a postman
…git
Once I went to rub his tummy and he was all happy and crap, then like 10 minutes later I came back and went to rub his tummy and he attacked me. Poor babe is just bipolar
He isn’t bipolar… Its all in his plan for WORLD DOMINATION. Unfortunatly for him he attacks people AND dogs AND cats… So the only answer is that indeed he is siding with the squirrels. He never attacks them…
Sometimes you just have to wonder.
sounds logical, to be honest
im just hoping that once they have no more use for him, the murder him and drag his mangled body off into the wilderness somewhere to rot
…that, or your silly sister gets rid of him =)
That silly sister of his happens to love that dog more than her brother. (Which actually isn’t saying very much? ;-)) So that won’t happen haha
Actually, I hope that when they’re done with him, they don’t drag his mangled corpse away to the forest…I hope they drag his mangled corpse to my front lawn for me to see. And laugh at him.
Hohohohohohohohohoho.
I WIN.
haha
Random will be content just knowing the bastard no longer breathes life
Awwwwwwwwwww :’(
Lol you guys are awesome and horrible… At the same freeking time.
Well its interesting because as for the last week and a half I actually have semi-taken care of the damn dog. My sister doesn’t have time and neither does my mom… So now he listens to me.
Funny how things work out aint it?
haha
ironic
command him to jump into a blender
STOP ACTIING LIKE A HICK! First it’s yall, and now its aint?!?!?
u r all losers who have no hearts.. except for bloonchic
leave ruffles alone, his heart is bigger than ibloon, bloonblade, and somerandomguy’s combined.
back off
Nothing’s wrong with “y’all” as long as you puncuate it correctly. *ahem*
Command him to chomp down on an electric cord. Less mess than the blender and more fun to watch. It’ll continue to twitch for a good few days, creating entertainment for an extended amount of time!
Omg Blade. Sorry, ruffles is actually pretty cool to me now. Even though he *is* a demon dog… Lets move on to something likeeeeeeeeeeeee….
How awesome my eyelashes are? Wait… That sounded gay.
…Yeah. That sounded REALLLLY gay dude
thanks ibloon =)
uh…IBloon?
something to share?
Lol, well my eyelashes are pretty awesome. What was supposed to happen was that I post that and then Blade posts right after because only he would understand that inside joke.
In other news… lets talk about why everyone here should get city of villains.
so it is good?
Yes.
“Good” as in “actually really pretty freakin’ cool”. I haven’t played it for an extended period of time, so I’m not one to judge on how excellent the game is, but I’m very intrigued after playing it for about 10 minutes.
Yea… Its pretty sweet. I got lvl 10 tonight. Very sweet. Only 4 more till I can jump reallllly high. Wewt.
but as you know IBloon, i just dont have the computer for it
=(
Actually you do. If you can pass on some of the seriously awesome effects you should be ok. Basically if you can run WOW, you can run COV.