Much like last Spring Break, I have come into a new state of mind after vacation. Ideas have emerged from the rubble of post-break atrophy, much like tiny blossoms out of a nuclear wasteland.
Or the head wounds are just talking to me. Whichever.
Firstly, a little something I found at the local ski shop:
So someone wants to celebrate some St. Patrick’s Day on the slopes. I’m not adverse to that. What I’m adverse to is someone wearing a jacket that looks the color of duck poop green and a banner that displays their own sexual insecurities like a bright yellow sign that says, “I’M EITHER A VIRGIN OR A MOTHER WHO THINKS SHE’S CONSIDERABLY FUNNIER THAN SHE ACTUALLY IS!”
This one’s not much better. You know, I bet the people who wear these things are the same people that wear those “humorous” helmet add-ons.
Hmph.
Secondly, a little gem I found at the San Francisco Airport.
THAT, dear readers, is a three wheeled…vehicle of some sort used by the San Francisco police force. It’s not really a car. More of a…tricycle-mobile. Clearly the most intimidating thing they could find to hunt down evildoers. I know I’m shivering in my boots. I wonder if, instead of sirens, it has a little bell to ding.
When they do “Good Cop/Bad Cop”, I think we all know which one gets the tricycle-mobile. Dirty Harry didn’t need a convertible to hunt down the felons; he chased those hooligans in THIS little badass.
…ok, I’m done. But seriously. It can’t even be cost-effective to make. Can you imagine the therapy costs of the poor policeman who gets laughed at everytime he drives that thing around?
–”What are you and your fat ass doing here?”
–”He’s my only means of conveyance…but I guess I do spoil him.”
Wow, you make MY uberawesome spring break seem lame :]. Hilarious.
I think I’ve caught a venereal disease.
I don’t know what the big deal is, I have one that is almost identical to the first ski suit.
With or sans banner?
With, except it says “Kiss me, I’m Jewish”
Very catchy…
Ah, the old “kiss me, I’m Jewish” trick.
I always fall for that one.
Claire, I’d kiss you even if you weren’t Jewish. That was meant in the least gay way possible, by the by.
…there’s another way to take it? Once you start saying, “I’ll kiss a member of my own sex,” it’s kind of hard to take it differently.
Would you kiss baby Jesus?
Babies don’t count. Especially if it’s a forehead kiss.
Since when is that counted as first base?
Forehead kiss is first base?
Then all my aunts got me pinned down on first base….! GAAAAHHH!
Slut aunts.