Ya know how almost every comedian says their say on golf? This tells me somthing.
So today I was out with my dad shooting balls toward distant signs that proclaim certain yardage that just cant be right… And since I must be the worst golf player EVER, I just watched people try and hit that mighty 300 yrd sign. Watching these hopeless people trying to hit 2 inch diameter balls with huge clubs a huge distance, then getting mad when they fail, I made a certain discovery… I think I discovered that the balls have a complete mind of their own. Example: I tried to hit a golf ball with a tailer made 360 driver (In normal words, BIG ASS CLUB) the ball decided to act like I hit it with a wedge club (basically a horozontal flat plane)… This is quite curious… And the best part was when I hit 150 yrds with the wedge… That got everyone calling me superman. But that is wishful thinking… I believe that a more fitting title for me is Divet man… I think that my grass hitting (more digging) skills are better than those of a excavator. Anyways… On to the best part, the talking about how odd Golf is…
Tell me, what do you call a sport in which you hit small balls into even smaller gopher holes that are dug into a 500 acre piece of cultivated land devoted to the very sport? Golf… There is no other word for it… lets look at a definition:
Golf
n.
A game played on a large outdoor course with a series of 9 or 18 holes spaced far apart, the object being to propel a small, hard ball with the use of various clubs into each hole with as few strokes as possible.
I think that is a fitting definition… Although they missed the “into small gopher holes”. Anyways, to me this sport holds absolutly no want or need to play it. It is absolutly boring! I propose a solution… Give current Golfers a laptop with golf games on it, sieze all golfing land, turn siezed land into hobo houses, give golf balls to the hospitals (figure that one out).
Well, for now that is all I can rant about… Tell me your views on this infernal game… For now…
“Thats all folks!”
Golf kicks ass!
It is one of the few sports not invaded by penguins. They’re too short to handle the clubs.
Lol… I knew somthing like that was coming! But what about the penguin snipers? If your out in acre’s of grass trying to watch your small white golf ball fly through the air, any penguin sniper will be on you before the ball splashes into the water hazards. Any normal person knows that… You must be one of those abnormal golfers… Grrr.
I agree with you about Golf. I think it was invented by a couple of drunk scotsman who wanted something to do while they wandered about the highlands looking for their lost sheep.
Haha… It is so true… But I wonder why they came up with hitting BALLS with long STICKS. It is so drunk-scotsmanlike…
sounds like a male thing to me.
I Bloon. That pic looks like you.. Is it you? I can’t tell lol. GOLF PWNS j00!