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Archive for January, 2006 Page 2 of 2
So.
I’m going to be going to a certain concert near the end of the month.
Exciting, isn’t it?
You just might know the band playing there, too.
What are they called again?
Oh yes. Now I remember.
A little band called AEROSMITH.
That’s about all I wanted to say. Just to make you all suffer through the knowledge.
Hah.
Will–”You know what the best thing about ‘Walk This Way’ is?”
Me–”What’s that?”
Will–”We’re going to see it LIVE.”
The following questions and answers were collected from SAT tests given to 16 years-old students! One day our social security payments will depend on these kids.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What causes the tides in the ocean?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow toward the moon because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets on the stairs.
Continue reading ‘SAT test answers:’
A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke’s hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there’s nowhere to go but straight down.
Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Darth Vader: No, Luke… I am your father!
Luke: No. It can’t be. That’s not true. That’s impossible!
Darth Vader: Search your feelings Luke… you know them to be true.
Luke: NOOoooo!
Darth Vader: Yes, it is true… and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?
Luke: Threepio?
Continue reading ‘What really happened……’
To start off 2006, I’ll give a little quote with a picture…
“When you are in deep trouble, say nothing, and try to look like you know what you’re doing!”
Happy New Year, dear Bloon readers!!