So, over a week after I saw it and three mafia thug fights later, I have decided to write my review for Chronicles of Narnia! Hot stuff, that.
Title: The Chronicles of…oh, hell, I’m not going to write it all out again. Just read the damn title of this article.
Genre (Movie): Fantasy….Adventure? (I’m beginning to realize how silly my genre classifications are. I’m pretty sure almost everything I review fits in a different genre.)
Description: Jesus in a new, huggable, furry form!
Quickrating: 8/10
This is a holiday kids’ movie. Let’s just get that behind us right now. It’s based off a book for kids, it’s made for kids, and it has a cameo appearance by Santa Claus. It’s a kids’ movie.
That being said, it is a particularily well-done kids’ movie that people of all ages can enjoy. If you’re Christian. If you’re not…well…you’re apparently with the Snow Witch. You’re evil. You have the head of a bull. You know, that sort of thing.
So, let’s summarize the story. Three kids get shipped off to a big mansion of mystery because they live in Europe during World War II and bombings happen. Kids find magical wardrobe that take them to magical place that has all sorts of furry creatures. These furry creatures are enslaved by an evil woman who played the Archangel Gabriel in the movie “Constantine”. Jesus comes. In the form of a furry-wurry lion named Aslan. And saves the day.
Continue reading ‘The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe’
For readers of all denominations:
Merry Christmas.
Happy First Night of Hannukah
Tomorrow: Happy Kwanzaa!
Happy Second Night of Hannukah
I hope all of our readers of all faiths, beliefs, and present-getting opportunities have a safe, fun, and lucrative season.
Peace.
P.S. Ok, I swear I’ll review Chronicles of Narnia tomorrow. I swear. Quote me on this and send your mafia thugs to beat me up if I don’t.
“You’re a mean one….Mister Grinch…”
Wow. I saw 3 movies in 2 days. And I have to review all of them. And after that? Christmas. That means (hopefully) one or two new games to review or some such thing. It’s not even the end of vacation, and I’m already getting booked. Happy Holidays, indeed.
Title: King Kong
Genre (Movie): Action/Adventure
Description: Peter Jackson’s remake of the classic film that defined monster movies as what they were.
Quickrating: 10/10
Before I say anything else, do you know how gratifying it is to give out a 10/10 rating? I haven’t done that for any medium for like…a year. Shows that there is hope for modern cinema, after all. How exhilarating.
So, anyone who’s been living in the USA for like….2 or 3 years should know the story. Hell, I’m sure most of the world knows the story. But I’m going to rehash it for you anyway. Guy wants make movie on uncharted island. Gets girl. Gets ‘nother guy. They go island. Island evil, evil place. Island have dinosaurs and big monkey. Big monkey falls in love with girl. Guy captures big monkey for money. Takes back to New York. Monkey goes psycho in New York. But girl has him stop and man shoots big monkey down. Man is real monster.
Continue reading ‘King Kong’
Click here and then go laugh for like……ever
I would say this recipe is the greatest, but I can never remember the next day how it tastes…
Recipe for delicious Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer… Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup..just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add
one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
Cherry Mistmas
Click here for a merry time!
~The Chick
P.S. 10 days ’til that cool thing people call Christmas! Aka free money and gifts from…. “SANTA”!!!!!