You know, this is a wonderful stress reliever. A hard day at school, and you can just go home, and let the amazing falling woman fall, hit things, and make weird lookin’ positions with her body. If she gets stuck, click and drag.
“You dress in the manner of a male prostitute!!” –Mystery Men
Well, nowadays, kids are expected to know lots of important things. Remember the good ol’ times when A stood for Apple and B stood for Burt Bacharach? Not anymore. I give you the modern day alphabet.
A is for Assassination attempt
B is for Bombing, as in SADDAM HUSSEIN
C is for Conservatives, as in ‘Damned’
D is for Dick, as in Cheney
E is for emptive, as in Pre-emptive Strike
F is for Freedom, as in Freedom Fries
G is for gay marriage, as in tax deductible
H is for Harry Potter, as in WITCHCRAFT BAD!
I is for iPod, as in Corporate America
J is for John Kerry, as in Three Purple Hearts
K is for KKK, as in bad organization, yet successful gift store
L is for Liberals, as in ‘Dirty’
M is for Mass, as in ‘Weapons of Destruction’
N is for Nukular, which Bush is still trying to pronounce correctly
O is for Ontario, #2 on Bush’s ‘To Bomb’ list
P is for Pwned, as in ‘That n00b just got…”
Q is for Quail, because I can’t think of anything that starts with Q
R is for Rectal Probing, as in the newest advance in home-secrutiy technology
S is for States, as in all 51 of them (I’m looking at you, Cuba)
T is for Transformers, Robots in Disguise
U is for Upper Class, as in the tax breaks
V is for Vigilante, as in what you want to be when you grow up
W is for the only difference between Bush Jr. and Bush Sr.
X is for Xylophone, because there are no goddamned other words that start with X
Y is for Yo momma. Who sucks.
Z is for Zebra, because some things never change.
“The painting was a gift. I’m taking it with me.”–Wedding Crashers
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and
all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were
killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of
the
game, all they kept screaming was:
‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback! I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s
only 25 cents!!!!”
What can I say… That’s what I always thought football was all about!!