AHHHH! I haven’t written for the Bloon in ages! I have two games and about three movies to review! AHHHHH!
Sorry, kiddos. My laziness and my busy schedule teamed up and gang banged me. I’ll try to do better.
Title: Kingdom of Heaven
Genre (Movie): Historical Fiction/Action
Quickrating: 8.5/10
Description: A pleasant surprise of a film, with good acting, good action, and good accuracy.
First of all, I’d like to point out my respect for Orlando Bloom. I may hate him because he’s no more than a teenage girl heartthrob, but every once in a while, I realize that he can indeed act quite well, and that makes me ashamed for thinking of clever ways to mess up that pretty face of his. Talent and good looks…you just don’t see it often enough. Of course, that combination of his ruins my only chance of getting into Hollywood. Bastard.
The movie, if you didn’t know, is about the Crusades, and thankfully shows them for what they really were: cruel, stupid, mean, and asanine attempts that show the hypocrisy of Christianity in those times. Kudos for not taking the easy route and glorifying them. It has a good number of massive fights, but also focuses a lot on character development, which I thought was very nice. I was almost expecting an Alexander-style movie without the unnecessarily large amounts of homosexuality. I was wonderfully proven wrong by the in-depth monologues and scenes between two or three characters, which were seperated by wonderfully conducted battle sequences, as opposed to battle sequences seperated by monologues.
Continue reading ‘Kingdom of Heaven’
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Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. “Who’s been eating my porridge?!!”, he squeaks.
Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. “Who’s been eating my Porridge?!!, “he roars.
Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, “For heavens sake, how many times do we have to go through this with you idiots? It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the damn table, it was Momma Bear who put the friggin cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat’s water and food dish, and, now that you’ve decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs, and grace Momma Bear’s kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I’m only going to say this one more time.
“I HAVEN’T MADE THE @#%&*#@&*#@ PORRIDGE YET !!”
Hehehe. I got this off of the same site that Bloon Blade posted but I went to a different page. See more Here
