Mom, Dad, and 2 kids have come to a river, and they find a boat. It is small and can only carry one adult or 2 kids at a time. Both kids are good rowers, but how can the whole family reach the other side of the river?
Answer to come next Friday..I think 
1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…..
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? (LOVE this one!!)
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
Continue reading ‘For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity….’
So, Bloon Blade and I got bored one eve and started messing around with the sound editing system on my computer. Well, one thing led to another, and we were kinda tired and hungry and sorta confused, and this was the product.
Moral of the story: Do not compose songs when tired, hungry, and/or confused.
Other moral of the story: We have too much free time.
Download Windows Media Player (Windows)
Download Quicktime (Mac)
I came upon such a site as this: http://misspoppy.com/
And yes, you can open your eyes as you stare in wonder at the holy merchandise. Have you bought your anti-masterbatory condoms yet?
Well, we’ll see who ends up on top after this, silly facists.
Title: Super Size Me
Genre (Movie): Documentary
Description: Regular guy goes on a 30-day McDonald’s diet to see what happens. Hilarity ensues. Because he gets fat.
Quickrating: 7/10
Everyone knows that fast food is bad for you. It makes you fat, it makes you sick, it has little to no redeeming nutritional value, etc. etc. etc. But after several recent lawsuits (see: Law System), people’s focus has been drawn back to America’s glutenizer. (Ooo…I like that. I’m gonna get that patented.) This film was made to test out McDonald’s claim that their food could be used as a normal, healthy, everyday diet. The basic premise is that this guy, who is actually more than healthy and has great blood pressure, body fat, etc. etc. etc., (Hell, his girlfriend is a vegan chef. But she’s really annoying) goes on a 30 day McDiet, with the following requirements:
He must eat nothing but McD’s for 30 days.
He must have 3 square meals a day.
He must eat everything on the menu at least once in those 30 days.
He must SuperSize it if they ask.
He also gets three doctors and a dietician who oversee him through these 30 days. And it begins.